I am upset and it’s sewing community related. I know exactly what the arguments in reply to my complaint is; and I still feel justified in being upset.
The local spoolettes group has a lot of meetups. The cheapest meetup I could find was $10 and when I asked if I could swap fabric there I was told to wait until a fabric swap event. Which was then announced to be at a $55 event. I asked if swaps would be available to those who can’t afford it and I was basically given a long winded answer that amounted to ‘well this is how its done so no; also for some reason we need to hire venues and pay insurance for fabric swaps’.
I’ve been a member of this group for two years and have managed to meet one person. I have posted asking for friends to sew with who said to PM them…and never replied.
I have only met one person because until now, I could not afford events. And if you can’t afford events I guess the answer is ‘well sucks for you’. Nobody wants to go to your house and watch movies and sew and gossip. No one wants to just meetup five or so for coffee and chats.
I bet if I were to attend events I’d be able to make friends to see one on one. But I can’t afford be events to make the friends to get them to see me.
And it’s classist.
It makes me feel like I’m not allowed to participate in even being anyone’s friend unless I can afford their minimum standards. Hint: being told something is cheap for what it is doesn’t magically mean someone has the money for it!!! It also doesn’t mean I don’t agree it’s good value. A lot of things I can’t afford are good value!
And the thing is – we have money now – theoretically I could afford to attend these events. Heck. I could afford to buy one of their so called venues outright.
But if they wouldn’t meet me halfway for coffee (I even offered to go entirely to them;a drive of an hour for me) when I was poor; why should I entertain the notion of their friendship now that I can AFFORD TO BE THEIR FRIEND???
It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the excuses. The long winded ways of saying no but trying to make it sound reasonable. As if you couldn’t grab a blanket and ten pieces of fabric and have fifteen people meet up at a local park or something.
The sewing community is classist and of course it is – fashion is. Colours have been illegal for the poor. So I shouldn’t be surprised when it costs money to even be friends.
But you know who I’m going to give my money to? The people who gave me their old clothes for fabric, the ones who gave me food when I was hungry and the ones who spent time with me when the only thing I could afford was time.
I want to hang out with people who will work to try to make things accessible.
They’re not even sure if the venues are wheelchair accessible! They DONT ASK.
Maybe I will buy a venue.
Salvage Sewing 